


Thorns

by HailingTorrent



Series: Past And Present [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Coming Out, Gen, Mentions of abusive parents and childhood, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl! Vex, mentions of transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailingTorrent/pseuds/HailingTorrent
Summary: "Yes, Vox Machina was Vex’alia’s family. They may be uncouth, vulgar and have no semblance of order. But they were hers. And she wouldn't wish for anything else."





	Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone :) I've been getting really into season 2 of Critical Role (Hugely enjoying it. 11/10. Would Tex-Blade again) And it got me in the mood to write another CR fanfic. I always felt like continuing the previous Tran!Vex oneshot I did, so here it is!
> 
> Notes:
> 
> 1: TW: There is mentions of transphobia, abusive parents and childhoods and dysphoria. If any of these are a trigger for you, please put your comfort first before reading. If I missed any TWs, please tell me so I add them.
> 
> 2: Tiberius was in the last fic, but is not in this one. It's kinda just due to me having trouble writing him into it.
> 
> 3: The God of Elves, Correlleon, is canon Non-Binary, so I really wanted to include a mention of that in the story.

“I think I’ll tell them.”

Many things, Vax was. Wise. Snarky. Experienced. Even a little jaded. But one thing Vex was well aware he could be was as dense as a bale of hay. Breaking into a noble’s manor to find an elixir that would undo a curse that had been put upon the local village? Just another Sunday night. Vex trying to set him up with a cute bartender? Pulling. Teeth. Like ice, in a way. Some days the info got through. Some days it batted off the surface.

And currently, her words were dazed and on the ground.

“Tell them…………..?” Looking up from his Author’s Edition of _Blades and Hearts_ : _A Tale of fierce battle and fiercer Love,_ Vax’s eyes were currently widely looking at Vex for a bit of explanation.

“About me.” Fleecing some excess ruffage off a new toy she’d made for Trinket, the contrast between her and Vax’s eyes were obvious. Whereas Vax was focused like well aimed arrow at his sister, Vex’s own shot downwards towards the toy. This wasn’t as near as casual as she had been making it out to seem. A lot of long night’s considerations had gone into this, with Trinket being the only one to know. Hey, he’s makes a great therapist.

Squinting slightly, attempting to analyse the words for some sort of hidden meaning. Vax was the type of dude who’d look for a hidden message in the Sun’s light. Great for their profession. Not as great for conversation.

“Again, tell them………….?” Placing his book gently to the side of the chair his body lounged upon, a wry smile danced on his face. “About how you have the best twin in all of Exandria and you can never, ever hoped to be as cool as him? I feel they’re well aware of that, dear sister.”

“Please. You’re my only brother, and I’d still rank you about fourth.” Humour. A great tool for disarming nervousness. Or masking it. Hard to tell the two apart sometimes.

“Seriously, Vex. What’s going on? They know about our, well, _unconventional_ relationship with daddy-dearest. What else is there to say? I mean, it’s not like you’re going too……” What started off as a dry joke, Vax’s face suddenly turned dour, the previous comedic smirk drained. “Oh. That.”

“Yes. That.” Deciding that the worst thorn had been pulled, Vex shot her eyes upwards to match her brother. The usually smart and jaded expression of Vax had been replaced with something stunned and worried. The smaller thorns were going to be tough.

“I mean, I love each of those fuckers like the family we should’ve had. But, we don’t really know how they’ll react? Scanlan can be little perverted shit. Keyleth, well fuck, we don’t really have much clue at all about what the Air Ashari think of your whole thing.”

From the day Vax found out his twin brother was actually his twin sister, he took on a whole new role in his life. They got enough shits for the crime of having a Human mother amongst Elves, but Vex endured a different world of assholes when she started presenting as who she was. Growing up, Vex was all Vax had. And no-one would ever hurt his sister. But, protectiveness can turn to overprotectiveness too quickly. Where Vex wanted to relax and have fun, Vax would often take the position as looming guardian. Kinda hard to flirt and mingle with people when you have a raven-feather clothed twin sibling standing over you.

“ _My whole thing?_ You have such a way with words brother.” The acid bite of these words practically melted the air. Vax was nothing but supportive of her, but his foot had a bad tendency to occupy the same space of his mouth. Especially when he entered his “ _I know better than my sister”_ -mode.

“I-…….I misspoke. I’m sorry.” Taking a second to breathe, the two of them were now standing opposite of one another. This argument had occurred many times before. Never with such high stakes, but it wasn’t unfamiliar. Times when Vex would want to tell one of her dalliances about herself. Sometimes it went well. Sometimes, they’d have to leave town after the two laid out a bar of bigots. Vax tended to bring up the latter cases in these altercations.

“I just want you to be safe, sister.” Vax’s left hand held onto Vex’s shoulder for support. Whether it was for her or him, she did not know. Vax had a hero complex, plain and simple. Too many times he took Vex’s wellbeing as his duty, whether she wanted it or not. Vex supposed she appreciated that. Always felt safe with her brother to protect her. Protection was fine. Controlling was not.

“I know that, brother. But what if they find out on their own? We bloody live together! What if one of us slips up. I’m sick of always watching what I say or do. You said you wanted me safe? How safe can we be if we don’t even know what they think?” The sides of her eyes began to sting, tears clawing to escape. No. Not now. If she can’t handle this, how in the hell would she tell everyone.

Sensing the discomfort of his sister, Vax quickly flopped down upon the chair. The shocked and panicked looked was beginning to subdue into something more simple anxious and tired. Neither of them liked having these disputes, but yet they kept occurring.

Mimicking her brother, Vex let her body collapse on a stool. The breath wishing to escape her body, she rested her face in her hands.

“You remember when you told me?” Vax looked at Vex with an emotion she wasn’t used to seeing on his face. Nostalgia.

“How could I forgot? I used all the subtly of a charging ogre.” Croaking out a jaded laugh, Vex suddenly raised her voice to a higher, childlike level, going with the reminiscing that seemed to have appeared. _“Vax’ildan, could you call me your sister?”._ Resuming her normal tone, Vex gestured a jokingly-accusatory finger towards her brother. “Remember what you fuckin’ said?”

A shameful groan, a mix of remorse and embarrassment that only comes from the reflection of youth.

“How in the Abyss could I forget.” The first son Syldor composed a duelling voice to Vax’s earlier falsetto, albeit with a bit more gruffness. _“Is this because you want to go with the blacksmith’s boy?”_ A self-depricating laugh eased the transition back into his regular voice. “Gods, I was a little shit back then.”

“You still are.”

“Rude.”

The two sat in a comfortable silence. Well, comfortable is usually the word you give to any lull other than stunned or angry. It was more of a neutral silence, neither of them eager to bring the talk to the destination it needed to go.

“I’m with you. No matter what.” This time, Vax’s eyes were full of sincerity.  “We are, after all, _The Notorious Bastard Son and Daughter of Syngorn.”_ A derisive nickname the Elvish children had given them that became a point of pride for these outcasts. Take something that makes you weak and turn it into strength, as the old saying goes.

“Oh, they had quite a few nicknames for me.” Vex had a little bit more trouble turning those into something to be proud of. “But you always did such a good job of knocking the front teeth out of them.” Rising to her feet, Vex took a few sparse breaths in before releasing them. They were done. Vax would support her. That’s all she needed.

“And I’ll knock the front teeth out of any of them that say an unkind word.” Vax’s eyes still rang full of sincerity.

“Oh, I know you will, brother.” Shuffling across the room to the exit of the study, Vex had a lot to prepare for. Make sure her makeup hadn’t gotten messed up during the arugment. Make sure Percy was aware of what was about to happen.

Oh, that reminded her.

“By the way, I told Percy.” Unwilling to deal with any potential tiffs this informational spider could spin, Vex quickly shut the door before galavanting off to her room.

Letting his mouth open to protest or question, Vax decided he was content to say a paltry comment.

“Of fucking course she did."

* * *

 

Getting everyone gathered in the dining hall was fairly easy task. Vex was well-versed in how they thought and how to gather each of them. A mention of Ale for Grog. A greeting of divine scriptures you found to Pike. A remark of where Pike would be to Scanlan. A comment to Keyleth about ‘needing to talk about something’. Vex supposed it said a lot about life that the least socially adept of them required no amount of lying.

And so, Vex organised the _Vox Machina Annual Bonding, Ale Drinking, Clergy Reading and Pike Occupying_ meeting. Shame she couldn’t actually use that name.

The two who were ‘in the know’ as it were, actually gave a tad more trouble. Vax seemed to be taking out most of his frustration of Percy’s awareness on Percy himself. A few late night visits to let him know how he should behave.  Leaving sour messages in his workshop Glaring daggers across the table at dinner. Giving Vax’s disposition, she supposed it was nothing serious he getting up.

Unless you were counting the actual daggers. Those were a bit overkill.

All in all, the gathering of their ragtag family had gone with a rousing success. Each of them occupied a seat within the grand hall, with Vax entering through the main door, as if giving a speech. Grog gleefully guzzled ale, getting more on the table than in his mouth. Pike studied over a piece of parchment from an obscure researcher of _Searanrae._ Something Vex had acquired once the plan started to form in her mind. Scanlan tried, and to his credit, was handily failing at trying to make small talk with the engrossed cleric. Their Druid sat eagerly, awaiting whatever was about to occur. Keyleth was also blissfully unaware of the obvious tension between the Human and fellow Half-Elf on each side of her. Like an oblivious buffer

Yes, gathering her nearest and dearest had gone off without a hitch. Sadly, the easy part always came before the hard.

Keyleth was the first to notice her enter, spotting her at the door and beaming a welcoming smile with her doe deer eyes. It would honestly break Vex’s heart if those eyes turned hateful.

“So, you little shits.” As before, humour is a hell of a mask for insecurity. “You’re all probably wondering why I brought you here.”

“Thought were ‘re to drink.” Partially gurgled through a mouth full of brew, Grog was his irreverent self.

“Suffice to say, those of us who are not currently destroying their livers are curious.” The smooth, even more irreverent tone of Scanlan could cut through many things. Tension. Seriousness. Importance. If he tried to use it on Vex’s confidence after this, he’d be in for a very rude awakening.

Now, all attention was on her. Pike and Keyleth, smiles filled with curiosity and excitement. Scanlan bore a smile too, but will anticipation for the lauded revelation. Grog was still making his way through a tankard, but his eyes focused on Vex. Percy was being how he always had been since she told him. Supportive. Vax was doing the same, while also occasionally scanning the other inhabitants in the room. The same way he did before a potential fight.

“Well, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you all. Wait, that’s a lie. Originally planned on never letting any of you hear a word of this. Now, not so sure how good that plan was.” Sidetracking,. She was sidetracking herself. You don’t have to defend yourself to them. Like Vax said. It’s YOUR thing. Not theirs.

“As you know, me and my dear brother have regaled you time and time again about the heartwarming tales of our beloved father and the idyllic childhood we had.” The sarcasm in her words was only match by the sarcastic chorus of supportive laughs and agreements from her fellows. Vax appeared to have put on a flower crown to go along with it. Does he always carry that on him? Questions for later.

Now comes the part where wit and sarcasm exits stage left.

“As shitty as it all was, there was a part I was keeping from you. No, not keeping from you. It wasn’t yours to know. Only mind to tell. Now……..I’ve decided to tell.”  Vax’s gaze darted across all of them.

Pike had turned to warm, but not in affection. In a way an older sibling would turn to her younger in hardship. Keyleth always wanted an elder sister.

Keyleth had gained a face of worry. She had that in common with Vax. Others before herself. Half expected the tow of them to end up together.

Grog had finally deigned to place his mug upon the table, head fully turned to Vex now. Grog always did not what was worth to stop drinking for.

Scanlan’s sly smirk remained, but his eyes told a different story. One of someone who’s slick tongue might not be of much help. Vex thought that could get him out of anything. Apparently, she was wrong.

Percy held his supportive gaze, unwavering like the fortress itself. The man had been through hell and back, and would be there to pull Vex through it if he needed to.

Vax had eyes of support, but lack the absoluteness of Percy’s. They constantly bounced between each of his compatriots, main hand on the dagger betraying his worry.

Shit, this wouldn’t get any easier. May as well pull out the big fucking thorn.

“I was born one of the twin sons of Syldor, alongside Vax. I was not one. Never one. But, the body I was born with shared more similarities to my brother than your typical Elven girl. So, some asshole doctor decided I was.” Hopefully they got that, cos that thorn was agony to pull out. Didn’t have time to gauge reactions. Keep pulling.

“I’ve taken steps to correct things. To make my body my own. And no, none of you get to fucking ask how I do it.” The worried eyes crystalized, the tears within becoming steel. Vex had be strong and soft. A paradox people like her were expected to live up.

“None of this changes who I am. I am just a much a girl as Keyleth or Pike. You are free to react as you wish. But I can promise you, any unkind words will result in me, Vax and Percy kicking the Correlleon loving shite out of you.” It was rare for Vex to invoke the Elvish God. But she felt it was appropriate. After all, the legends spoke that they had more in common with her than any other Elf in Syngorn. The nods from Percy and Vax confirmed her speech to any who saw.

And so, the silence fell. Definitely not a comfortable one. Not quite sure if it was angry. But definitely stunned. Ambiguity. An annoying emotion. Like heavy rain falling upon the mind, misting it from seeing what happens next.

Until wise words banished the mist, slicing through the silence like a well hewn sword.

“So, yer’ a girl. That it?” Apparently, Grog had found the whole thing rather unsurprising, having gone back to his treasured mug once Vex had finished. “You smallfolk are weird ‘bout this stuff. With Goliaths, someone tells ya she’s a girl, she’s a girl. Know better than anyone. What ya got between ‘yer legs don’t mean shit.” Amazing how Grog could cut through the bullshit as well as his greataxe. May have not meant it, but his words had soothed the raw wound Vex had gained from revealing this.

Which was quickly followed by Pike speaking up.

“Vex’alia.” Oh, full name. Pike entered big sister mode. “What you just told us, is amazing. Whatever I can do to make this easier for you, just say the word and I’ll be there in a flash. We are your family. We’re here for you.” Yup, typical big Cister.

Now came the ‘unknown quantity’ that was more well known as Scanlan Shorthalt. And it seemed that Vex wasn’t the only one looking at him with interest. Although, Vex slowly raising his blade in event of worse case scenario may not be interest, per-say.

“I assume you all expect me to make some sort of crass or lewd joke.” There was an unspoken, but understood ‘Yes’ from the surrounding people. “Vex, I have a _long_ history of love affairs and romance.” Sounding like a brag, but OK. “I have encountered many people who have a situation similar to yourself, so believe my words when I say you’ll hear no protest from me.”

Trust Scanlan give a declaration of support in a boast about his sexual conquests. Guess it was him letting her know he was in her corner. And for that, she was thankful. Even if it was a bit T.M.I.

Now came what should be the easiest one, but had been giving Vex the most restless nights.

Standing to her feet, Keyleth wordlessly began sauntering over to Vex. The lack of speech from someone such as the Air Ashari was as a worrying omen equal to any sharp word or raised fist. Her friends mirrored her look of concern. Vax had even raised to his feet alongside Keyleth, ready to intervene.

Two arms wrapped tightly and intensely around Vex. It was nice. Everything had gone well, but she still needed this. Memories of mother flew back into her mind. She might have never said it, but Vex wondered if her mother knew. Might just be wishful thinking, but it made things easier.

Reciprocating Keyleth’s hug, Vex held tightly, she didn’t want to let go. Not yet. Luckily, Keyleth didn’t seem to inclined to release either. Always such a kind friend.

“I thought I was the only one.”

OK, it may not have been just for Vex.

The two unlocked arms. Vex tried to keep any surprise from her face as she gazed upon Keyleth. All this time, she never knew. And Keyleth never knew about her. Neither of them. Lived together for years and literally fought off abominations and monsters, and they never fucking knew.

The laugh that came from both of them simultainously was welcomed. Neither of them were alone. They finally had someone who understood. Who just fucking got IT. It was a better gift either of them could ever ask for.

The glee subsided from Vex, wiping a tear of joy from the corner of her eye. But the previously jubilant visage of Keyleth had turned urgent. Didn’t need to be an expert on mortal behaviour to understand what it meant. Vex had told them and Keyleth couldn’t be happier for her. But Keyleth wasn’t ready yet Maybe someday. Maybe never. But not today.

Pulling her in once more for a close embrace, it was Vex’s turn to whisper.

“Us girls. We got each others back.”

Couldn’t see it, but Vex felt the nod from Keyleth. The two once more released, this hug feeling quite a bit more anti-climatic. Keyleth sniffled slightly, hoping the rest wouldn’t notice her tears. A quick smile, and Keyleth made her way back to the crowd, who seemed to be attempting to not look like they’d been staring. And not doing a good job.

For once, Vex was sure it was a comfortable silence. The storm had come, but instead it turned out to be a ray of sun. Things would get better now.

“You’ve been pretty quiet, Percy?” Scanlan was side-eying the heir of Whitestone across the table. Shorthalt was either being protective of Vex, or just plain teasing Percy.

Both.

“Oh, I’m afraid I already knew.” A blush suddenly materialized upon his face. The realization that he was the only one not to offer open support just hit him. Was probably worried everyone thought he was a bigot.

“What?! You told the Ghost of Wintercrest Past here before us?” Scanlan’s voice was filled with indignation and offense. Most likely put on for show to ease the mood of the room back to it’s usual levity. The sight of the Halfling turned to Vax. “Let me guess. Tall, dark and edgy knew too?” Yup, he wasn’t even trying to pretend to be serious now.

“Of course I knew. I’m her brother.” And Vax had no problem playing along.

“Psssssssh, that’s no excuse.”

Scanlan argued with Vax, the comradery and joking nature easy for all to see. Percy occasionally jumped with his own remark, lining up a shot with comments as it were. Grog had refilled his mug, which occupied most of his attention, bar the rare chuckle at a good jab. Keyleth giggled at the ongoing argument that had devolved into Scanlan accusing Vax of being predjudiced towards Bards. Pike seemed to be back to studying the parchment, but her slight smile betrayed where her attention truly was.

Yes, these were Vex’alia’s family. They may be uncouth, vulgar and have no semblance of order. But they were her's. And dammed if she’d wish for anything else.


End file.
